It took just a few months after the United States’ invasion of Iraq for the world to find out that Saddam Hussein had long abandoned his nuclear, biological and chemical weapons programs. He was not training terrorists or colluding with Al Qaeda. The only real threat he posed was to his own countrymen.
It has taken five years to finally come to a reckoning over how much the Bush administration knowingly twisted and hyped intelligence to justify that invasion. On Thursday — after years of Republican stonewalling — a report by the Senate Intelligence Committee gave us as good a set of answers as we’re likely to get.
The report shows clearly that President Bush should have known that important claims he made about Iraq did not conform with intelligence reports. In other cases, he could have learned the truth if he had asked better questions or encouraged more honest answers.
The report confirms one serious intelligence failure: President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and other administration officials were told that Iraq still had chemical and biological weapons and did not learn that these reports were wrong until after the invasion. But Mr. Bush and his team made even that intelligence seem more solid, more recent and more dangerous than it was.
The report shows that there was no intelligence to support the two most frightening claims Mr. Bush and his vice president used to sell the war: that Iraq was actively developing nuclear weapons and had longstanding ties to terrorist groups. It seems clear that the president and his team knew that that was not true, or should have known it — if they had not ignored dissenting views and telegraphed what answers they were looking for.
Over all, the report makes it clear that top officials, especially Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, knew they were not giving a full and honest account of their justifications for going to war.
The report was supported by only two of the seven Republicans on the 15-member Senate panel. The five dissenting Republicans first tried to kill it, and then to delete most of its conclusions. They finally settled for appending objections. The bulk of their criticisms were sophistry transparently intended to protect Mr. Bush and deny the public a full accounting of how he took America into a disastrous war.
The report documents how time and again Mr. Bush and his team took vague and dubious intelligence reports on Iraq’s weapons programs and made them sound like hard and incontrovertible fact.
“They continue to pursue the nuclear program they began so many years ago,” Mr. Cheney said on Aug. 26, 2002, adding that “we now know that Saddam has resumed his efforts to acquire nuclear weapons.”
On Oct. 7, 2002, Mr. Bush told an audience in Cincinnati that Iraq “is seeking nuclear weapons” and that “the evidence indicates that Iraq is reconstituting its nuclear weapons program.” Saddam Hussein, he said, “is moving ever closer to developing a nuclear weapon.”
Later, both men talked about Iraq trying to buy uranium in Africa and about the purchase of aluminum tubes that they said could only be used for a nuclear weapons program. They talked about Iraq having such a weapon in five years, then in three years, then in one.
If they had wanted to give an honest accounting of the intelligence on Iraq’s nuclear weapons, Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney would have said it indicated that Mr. Hussein’s nuclear weapons program had been destroyed years earlier by American military strikes.
As for Iraq’s supposed efforts to “reconstitute” that program, they would have had to say that reports about the uranium shopping and the aluminum tubes were the extent of the evidence — and those claims were already in serious doubt when Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney told the public about them. That would not have been nearly as persuasive, of course, as Mr. Bush’s infamous “mushroom cloud” warning.
The report said Mr. Bush was justified in saying that intelligence analysts believed Iraq had chemical and biological weapons. But even then, he and his aides glossed over inconvenient facts — that the only new data on biological weapons came from a dubious source code-named Curveball and proved to be false.
Yet Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney persisted in talking as if there were ironclad proof of Iraq’s weapons and plans for global mayhem.
“Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt that he is amassing them to use them against our friends, against our allies and against us,” Mr. Cheney said on Aug. 29, 2002.
Actually, there was plenty of doubt — at the time — about that second point. According to the Senate report, there was no evidence that Mr. Hussein intended to use weapons of mass destruction against anyone, and the intelligence community never said there was.
The committee’s dissenting Republicans attempted to have this entire section of the report deleted — along with a conclusion that the administration misrepresented the intelligence when it warned of a risk that Mr. Hussein could give weapons of mass destruction to terrorist groups. They said Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney never used the word “intent” and were merely trying to suggest that Iraq “could” do those terrible things.
It’s hard to imagine that anyone drew that distinction after hearing Mr. Bush declare that “Saddam Hussein would like nothing more than to use a terrorist network to attack and to kill and leave no fingerprints behind.” Or when he said: “Each passing day could be the one on which the Iraqi regime gives anthrax or VX nerve gas or someday a nuclear weapon to a terrorist ally.”
The Senate report shows that the intelligence Mr. Bush had did not support those statements — or Mr. Rumsfeld’s that “every month that goes by, his W.M.D. programs are progressing, and he moves closer to his goal of possessing the capability to strike our population, and our allies, and hold them hostage to blackmail.”
Claims by Mr. Cheney and Mr. Rumsfeld that Iraq had longstanding ties to Al Qaeda and other terrorist groups also were false, and the Senate committee’s report shows that the two men knew it, or should have.
We cannot say with certainty whether Mr. Bush lied about Iraq. But when the president withholds vital information from the public — or leads them to believe things that he knows are not true — to justify the invasion of another country, that is bad enough.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Déjà vu all over again
When it comes to Iran's nuclear capabilities, whose word would you rather take: that of a Nobel prize-winning head of an international agency specializing in nuclear issues who was proved triumphantly right about Iraq, or that of a bunch of belligerent neocons who make no secret of their desire to whack Iran at the earliest opportunity and who made such a pigs ear of Iraq?
That is the stark choice facing the sane people of the world, given the smearing of IAEA chief Mohamed ElBaradei for not joining the hysterical lynch mob building up against Iran. Criticised by Condoleezza Rice and others in the Bush administration, it is uncannily reminiscent of the slurs against him and UN weapons inspector Hans Blix in the run up to the invasion of Iraq - and we should remember that the US vindictively tried to unseat him afterwards for not joining in the lying game.
ElBaradei is hardly acting as cheerleader for the Iranians. He says that his inspectors have not seen "any concrete evidence that there is a parallel military program," though he could not yet swear to its absence. But he does believe that our issues with Iran can be resolved through negotiations - in which it would help if the US were not implicitly threatening war. But it looks as though we have reached a similar stage to when Saddam let in the inspectors. When they found no WMDs Washington cried foul, ordered the UN inspectors out and sent the troops in. The US and its allies will not accept anything short of regime change in Teheran - no matter what ordinary Iranians might want and what the IAEA says.
The only difference from last time is that France has defected, and France's opposition to the war in Iraq was as much because of Saddam's oil contracts with Total and Elf-Aquitaine as any deep attachment to international law. Teheran should sign a contract immediately!
There are, of course, several separate issues here. One is whether Iran has the right to enrich uranium. The second is whether it is abusing the putative right to build nuclear weapons. A third is whether the nuclear issue is not just some sort of White House feint, since we all know that if the shooting starts, it will really be about fighting terrorism, liberating gays and women, restoring democracy and taking down a major rival in the region to both Saudi Arabia and Israel - or any permutation of the above.
On the first question, stupid though it is, the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty does not ban countries from reprocessing and purifying uranium. It should have done, and it should have allowed more intrusive inspections, but it doesn't, and one reason for that is that the US, under the influence of the people who now want to cite non-proliferation against Iran, fought against attempts to strengthen the treaty. These are the same people, in fact, who have successfully fought against the senate ratifying the comprehensive test ban treaty.
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's maladroit diplomacy led to Iran being outmanoeuvred. His comments on Israel and the Holocaust, no matter whether interpreted correctly or not, have made it difficult for many countries to support him. The US got a resolution against Iran through the IAEA council calling on Iran to stop its uranium reprocessing, largely by promising council member India a free pass for developing nuclear weapons outside the Non-Proliferation Treaty, and with the enthusiastic support of Israel, the only definite nuclear state in the Middle East.
The US then took that IAEA council resolution to the UN security council, whose word, whether Iran likes it or not, is law under the UN charter, even though it is manifestly a political rather than a judicial body. (The law is not always just, and that goes for international law as well). It does not help Iran as much as it should that Washington, a major scofflaw in the international field, is once again talking piously about the need to enforce UN resolutions, with its own interpretation and its own timetable - just as was the case with Iraq.
Iran is playing a dangerous game. Most countries have deep reservations about what the US, France and, to a lesser extent, the UK are up to, but few of them are prepared to go to the wall, diplomatically, let alone militarily, for the ayatollahs.
Iran should accept the additional and more intrusive inspections that it did before, and throw open its program to the IAEA inspectors, but the war talk in Washington and Jerusalem gives it a plausible excuse not to, since it would be tantamount to offering them a list of targets.
Of course it is difficult to support someone like Ahmadinejad, even when he does for once have a point in the nuclear stand-off. But we can support ElBaradei and the IAEA, as the only sane voices around. With enemies such as ElBaradei has marshalling against him, he must be right.
Friday, June 6, 2008
128 ways to Dump your Bike
Because of my wreck
* 1 Putting your foot into a hole when stopping.
* 2 Putting your foot down on something slippery when stopping.
* 3 Locking the front wheel during overenthusiastic braking.
* 4 Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass.
* 5 Not putting the kickstand down when getting off.
* 6 Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high throttle.
* 7 Not putting a board ('foot')under the kickstand on asphalt on a hot day.
* 8 Letting overenthusiastic people sit on your bike who have never been on a bike.
* 9 Forgetting the bike's in gear when you jump on the kickstarter.
* 10 Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet on pegs when the light
turns green, but the bike's in neutral.
* 11 Not putting your foot down when stopping at red light.
* 12 Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand.
* 13 Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves, stop at a stop sign and pop the clutch when you start because you've lost feeling in your hands.
* 14 Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick layer of grease that builds up when cars stop.
* 15 Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll booth.
* 16 Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the side of the road (in places where roads are sanded and salted in winter.)
* 17 Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it bounce back up instead of staying down.
* 18 Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting that is in gear.
* 19 Trying to kick start your first bike over and over because you didn't realize that it was really out of fuel, and getting the goofy metal ring on the side of your boot caught in the kickstarter, causing you (and the bike) to go over on the right side.
* 20 Starting your brand-new electric-start trail-bike, riding around an ornamental shrub on full left lock, throwing it to the right and accelerating to wheelie over the curb onto the street and _then_ discovering that you hadn't unlocked the steering-lock...
* 21 On same bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside your jeans as you come to a stop...
* 22 Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting your running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the side-stand (which is why I now automatically pull in the clutch whenever deploying or retracting the stand.)
* 23 Having "green" racing linings which have much higher coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the polished drum when you've not ridden for a few hours, and lose the front-end holding the brakes on against the throttle to wear off the rust.
* 24 Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that's so smooth you think you're in second when you're actually in first, so you spin out when the undercarriage touches down in a tight corner passing a car and you think, "just a bit more throttle will help here..."
* 25 Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light, thinking it's in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in place while bike wheelies and backflips into intersection.
* 26 Having your fat-ass brother (as a pillion) lean waaay over to the side to look at something on the ground while at a stop sign.
* 27 Wife gets foot caught on saddlebag while getting on before you.
* 28 Rebuild carbs and treat bike like it still needs full gas away from a stop.
* 29 Bald tires, and a smatter of rain.
* 30 Look at the sand at the edge of the exit ramp rather than through the turn.
* 31 Neither you nor your dad watching while he's backing his car up to the woodpile to unload wood.
* 32 Not putting the pin that holds the center stand all the way in and then trying to put the bike on the center stand.
* 33 Trying to hold the bike upright before deploying the center stand only to find our knees are too weak from riding.
* 34 Park behind friend's mom's minivan figuring "If anybody goes anywhere, they'll surely see it. 'specially since there'll be 5 of them getting into the van.
* 35 After getting fuel at gas station and holding the bike level with your legs in order to fill it completely, jumping off forgetting that your legs were holding it upright not the kickstand.
* 36 Entering a DR ("decreasing radius") turn too fast. This is especially dangerous when making a right turn where if you attempt to straighten up and brake, you'll plow into oncoming traffic.
* 37 Trying to countersteer (or wheelie) your shaft driven bike? [Obviously the person who posted this doesn't have a clue.]
* 38 Getting your boot/ shoelace caught on the gearshift. (I wear laceless boots now.)
* 39 Attempting to kick start a cantankerous '84 CR500, whilst standing on a picnic table bench, and she *kicks* back!
* 40 Getting pissed off for dropping it in the first place, yanking it vigorously off the ground, only to have it drop to the _other_ side.
* 41 Pulling out the swing arm stand, and forgetting to put the sidestand down first.
* 42 Backing down an inclined driveway, turning to either side with a full tank of gas.
* 43 Taking the bike off the centerstand and forgetting the sidestand.
* 44 Riding on wet grass with street tires (Almost as bad as ice!!)
* 45 Riding on wet asphalt with dirt tires (Almost as bad as ice!!)
* 46 *Thinking* the kick stand was down when it wasn't.
* 47 Kick stand slowly burying itself in hot asphalt.
* 48 Kick stand slowly burying itself in soft ground.
* 49 Backing up perpendicular to a steeply sloped driveway and attempting to put your foot down on the downhill side while on a large bike with a high seat. (By the time your foot reaches the ground the bike is so far off center balance you won't be able to hold it up.)
* 50 Backing your bike down a plank, by yourself, from the bed of a pickup truck. Works great as long as you remember that once you start moving, stopping for any correction is out of the question. Get two people to stand on each side of you and the bike.
* 51 Losing your balance when coming to a stop because of fatigue from a long trip. The wind and the buzz of the bike induces an unexpected case of vertigo. Stop often and rest.
* 52 Riding beyond your limits while trying to keep up with someone who is probably riding beyond their own. Always a temptation. The best riders/racers understand and use discipline when riding.
* 53 Not paying attention. Always strive to anticipate what could possibly go wrong and be planning what you're going to do when it happens, eventually it will - and you'll be ready, instead of surprised when you're much more likely to do something stupid and reactionary.
* 54 Assuming that all wet roads are created equal. They are much more slippery when it first starts to rain - until the oil and dirt are washed away.
* 55 Assuming that the condition of a blind corner is the same as it was the last time you rode it. Instead you find sticks, road kill, oil, rain wash, stones, pot holes, garbage, etc.
* 56 Not understanding how to get set-up for a corner when pushing the limits. In most cases the bike could have made the corner but the rider decided it couldn't and while in a panic attempted to correct the situation with the brake. WRONG! MSF course will discuss this at length.
* 57 Riding without all of the protective equipment because I forgot to bring it and after all it was just this one time. Turned out to be the wrong time! I forgot my MX boots and fell on a steeply banked corner and the foot peg attempted to drill into the back of my right calf. On crutches for 3 weeks with a deep bruise.
* 58 Using a little too much power turning the first corner after you've put on new tires (with that nice slippery release compound on them).
* 59 Being too short for the bike you're riding, and coming to a stop sign.
* 60 Your rider hops on before you are ready.
* 61 Pushing your bike into the garage and letting it get leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it to the ground.
* 62 Pulling off both fork caps while the bike is on its centerstand.
* 64 Park pointing downhill, don't leave it in gear.
* 65 Park with sidestand facing up hill, sidestand is too long.
* 66 Allow friend to ride bike that has either no riding experience, or only tiny dirt bike riding experience (they will wheelie out of control, fly straight at the nearest object, or drop it attempting to stop suddenly.)
* 67 Pulling into Dairy Queen and slipping on a spilt chocolate malt.
* 68 Sitting on your bike on an inclined driveway talking to a very pretty girl, forgetting where in the hell your mind is and then noticing that it's already too close to the ground to stop.
* 69 Change rear-end oil on a shaft drive bike, spill 90w on tire, don't clean it up and then make a really sharp turn out of the driveway. *Splat*
* 70 Parking your bike so that it stands upright with the kickstand down and then having a slow leak in the rear tire which causes the kickstand to push the bike over.
* 71 Running into a bus after a 120mph+ high speed chase where there is helicopter pursuit and you are being taped by 5 local news stations.
* 72 Spending 3 hours washing and waxing your bike and then stepping back to admire it with some buddies and then watch it fall right off its side stand while it was warming up.
* 73 Pushing it over.
* 74 Covering it with a windsail (aka canvas cover) and letting the wind push it over.
* 75 Unbolting too many components from the back so that the bike falls off the jack.
* 76 Having an internally rusted CX500 center stand come apart whilst putting the bike onto it.
* 77 Discovering when you stop and try to put your foot down that the kickstart lever is up your pant leg.
* 78 Letting your wife drive the bike and having her stall it on an inclined driveway while in a 45 degree angle to the incline.
* 79 Entering a banked freeway onramp with a stoplight at the end, and realizing a little too late that the downside is just a _little_ steeper than you thought.
* 80 Whacking the throttle open on the highway when you think there's no cop around then slowing to normal speed again only to realize that a trooper has been trying to catch up with you for two miles and he's pissed so he decides to run you off the road because he thinks you were trying to run away from him, even though you explain to him that if you were trying to run that he wouldn't have caught you then getting out of any ticjet because *@!!$#, uh I mean cop, felt bad even though he never said "I'm sorry" . . . .but I'm not bitter.
* 81 While pushing your bike in an attempt to start it by compression, jumping on side-saddle with excessive vigor.
* 82 Successfully compression starting your bike while running along side, only to find out that you'd held a BIT too much throttle!
* 83 Deploying the centre-stand without noticing that the ground falls away on the other side.
* 84 Taking the wife on a ride on your brand new, first bike in 20+ years and making a slow, tight, turn on gravel.
* 85 Riding in stilettos and getting stuck on the footrest.
* 86 Swinging your legs too enthusiastically over the bike with tight trousers on and kicking it over.
* 87 Dismounting while trying not to wet yourself (cold weather..tuh!)
* 88 Riding short distances side-saddle fashion.
* 89 Pulling off with a blood alcohol level exceeding the stated limit.
* 90 Reaching down to pick up your gloves/keys/glasses.
* 91 Paying too much attention to the tiltometer on your valkarie.
* 92 Dropping your dirtbike on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus, then while getting it righted go over the down side because it's too far of an angle to get a foot down.
* 93 Trying to ride away on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus which is slipperier than sand.
* 94 Bopping down the freshly-oiled farm lane to see the neighbor kid with my brother on the back, cautiously toeing the rear brake, feeling the rear wheel slide as we headed straight for the barn, grabbing a panicky handful of front brake, doing a slow highside despite dabbing mightily, sliding right up to the barn door prone on the well-oiled bike with my brother on top of the pile, and hearing the neighbor say "Didn't that thing used to be orange?"
* 95 kill the bike while leaned over trying to make a slow, sharp turn in a parking lot.
* 96 Forgetting to remove the disc lock and taking off from the curb with haste...Tends to break the front caliper, too.
* 97 Falling asleep.
* 98 Getting help from a neighbor in pushing your 750 up a steep ramp into a moving truck. Though he might assure you that he used to ride a motorcycle, it turns out it was a 125 in Bombay. He gets 2/3 of the way up the ramp, looks panicked, and his knees buckle. Crunch.
* 99 Looking at the pretty curb to your left on a right-hand bank.
* 100 Trying to get a wasp or bee out of your jacket while sitting on the bike.
* 101 Trying to start out in a quick turn (leaning in anticipation of giving it throttle) and stalling it out because the engine hasn't warmed yet - it's a nice, slow drop...
* 102 Forgetting to put in oil after an oil change. Starting 'er up, and wondering why the low oil pressure dummy light doesn't turn off.
* 103 After a brake job, forgetting to pump the lever/pedal a few times, and taking off, wondering why there's no brakes as you're coming up on the intersection.
* 104 Having a mechanical gate close on you as you're trying to ride through.
* 105 Hitting that patch of sand which has washed across the road on a blind bend.
* 106 Absentmindedly putting the bike on the kick stand and walking away before you check to see if the driveway is level.
* 107 Applying your usual amount of throttle but with a passenger behind you ... "cool ... look at that plane".
* 108 Pushing your bike into a crowded garage, letting it get leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it into your vintage MG.
* 109 Popping a wheelie while showing off for a girl, almost looping it, slamming on the rear brake to compensate, and passing out from the bollocking several yards later.
* 110 Assuming the puddle of liquid behind the convenience store was water when it was actually used motor oil.
* 111 Starting bike while habitually squeezing clutch lever, standing to the left of the bike, remembering too late that the bike is in gear. Realize too late that the choke gives the bike enough power to drag you 30' across the parking lot in first gear.
* 112 On your third ride with your first ever bike. Stop at a red light. When the light turns green, you have to start uphill, and turn right at the same time. Somehow that overwhelmed me.
* 113 Parking on a bit of an incline (slopes down right to left), having your left foot slip a little when getting back on the bike, and slowly loosing your balance.
* 114 Let your buddy ride it. And if you are really stupid let him ride it again.
* 115 Turning onto a busy street and in the middle of the turn you suddenly remember that this street has trolley tracks.
* 116 Put armor all on your tires to make them look nice and pretty and then ride on the white safety lane line as you take a HARD right turn at 35mph.
* 117 Throw a party and get together with a random girl on your bike in the garage while extremely drunk.
* 118 Pull into parking and failed to ensure proper extension of the sidestand then with near perfect execution of the Laugh-in scene where the bike topples over onto your leg, and you're going down, pinned beneath.
* 119 Stop for gas, carefully shut off ignition and take key out (to unlock tank), carefully remove helmet and set it over mirror, carefully remove gloves and place on instruments, open jacket, step off bike ... forgetting to put sidestand down.
* 120 With bike off, try to make walking U-turn in driveway. Bike doesn't have necessary turning radius, front wheel leaves pavement and goes into soft dirt.
* 121 The setting: Bikes at inside end of driveway, on centerstands, facing away from front of driveway. Backing cage into driveway ... slowly ... at about the right point, stop ... note that cover on bike #1 is moving slightly ... notice bike #1 ever-so-slowly roll forward off its centerstand, then sideways into bike #2. Bike #2 stands there and takes it without falling ... but there's no way to get it to lift #1.
* 122 Tweaking the front brake at a light as you JUST come to a stop with the forks turned to either side at ALL on a top-heavy bike.
* 123 Jump an old dirt bike over your parents' fence (use a rramp to get enough height). Realize on the way down that you *don't* know how to land. (I believe this was caused by "Adolescent Invincibility Syndrome".)
* 124 Test-ride an Electra Glide Sport (OK, these days it would have to be a Road King) around the old, cracked pavement in Brisbane near the Cow Palace.
* 125 Have a BMW with the sidestand linked to the clutch lever, so that pulling in the clutch retracts the stand.
* 126 Put the bike back together after waiting months since the last crash for a part to arrive, and don't install fuel filters. Gas tank rust clogs carburetor float needles, overflow tubes lube rear tire, brake to avoid manhole cover in curve, the waited-for part is broken.
* 127 Park next to some %$#@ on a Triumph who leaves his disc lock on, and return to find your XV1100 with a few dents and a little note saying 'Sorry' in the brake lever. (I left my phone number too...)
* 128 While riding home the day after getting your shiny new bike turn onto a dirt road and discover that they are in the process of combing the road and your front tire is now sliding through four inches of loose wet sand (Did I mention it was raining). While picking up your bike be sure to grind plenty of sand into the tank.
* 1 Putting your foot into a hole when stopping.
* 2 Putting your foot down on something slippery when stopping.
* 3 Locking the front wheel during overenthusiastic braking.
* 4 Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass.
* 5 Not putting the kickstand down when getting off.
* 6 Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high throttle.
* 7 Not putting a board ('foot')under the kickstand on asphalt on a hot day.
* 8 Letting overenthusiastic people sit on your bike who have never been on a bike.
* 9 Forgetting the bike's in gear when you jump on the kickstarter.
* 10 Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet on pegs when the light
turns green, but the bike's in neutral.
* 11 Not putting your foot down when stopping at red light.
* 12 Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand.
* 13 Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves, stop at a stop sign and pop the clutch when you start because you've lost feeling in your hands.
* 14 Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick layer of grease that builds up when cars stop.
* 15 Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll booth.
* 16 Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the side of the road (in places where roads are sanded and salted in winter.)
* 17 Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it bounce back up instead of staying down.
* 18 Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting that is in gear.
* 19 Trying to kick start your first bike over and over because you didn't realize that it was really out of fuel, and getting the goofy metal ring on the side of your boot caught in the kickstarter, causing you (and the bike) to go over on the right side.
* 20 Starting your brand-new electric-start trail-bike, riding around an ornamental shrub on full left lock, throwing it to the right and accelerating to wheelie over the curb onto the street and _then_ discovering that you hadn't unlocked the steering-lock...
* 21 On same bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside your jeans as you come to a stop...
* 22 Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting your running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the side-stand (which is why I now automatically pull in the clutch whenever deploying or retracting the stand.)
* 23 Having "green" racing linings which have much higher coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the polished drum when you've not ridden for a few hours, and lose the front-end holding the brakes on against the throttle to wear off the rust.
* 24 Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that's so smooth you think you're in second when you're actually in first, so you spin out when the undercarriage touches down in a tight corner passing a car and you think, "just a bit more throttle will help here..."
* 25 Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light, thinking it's in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in place while bike wheelies and backflips into intersection.
* 26 Having your fat-ass brother (as a pillion) lean waaay over to the side to look at something on the ground while at a stop sign.
* 27 Wife gets foot caught on saddlebag while getting on before you.
* 28 Rebuild carbs and treat bike like it still needs full gas away from a stop.
* 29 Bald tires, and a smatter of rain.
* 30 Look at the sand at the edge of the exit ramp rather than through the turn.
* 31 Neither you nor your dad watching while he's backing his car up to the woodpile to unload wood.
* 32 Not putting the pin that holds the center stand all the way in and then trying to put the bike on the center stand.
* 33 Trying to hold the bike upright before deploying the center stand only to find our knees are too weak from riding.
* 34 Park behind friend's mom's minivan figuring "If anybody goes anywhere, they'll surely see it. 'specially since there'll be 5 of them getting into the van.
* 35 After getting fuel at gas station and holding the bike level with your legs in order to fill it completely, jumping off forgetting that your legs were holding it upright not the kickstand.
* 36 Entering a DR ("decreasing radius") turn too fast. This is especially dangerous when making a right turn where if you attempt to straighten up and brake, you'll plow into oncoming traffic.
* 37 Trying to countersteer (or wheelie) your shaft driven bike? [Obviously the person who posted this doesn't have a clue.]
* 38 Getting your boot/ shoelace caught on the gearshift. (I wear laceless boots now.)
* 39 Attempting to kick start a cantankerous '84 CR500, whilst standing on a picnic table bench, and she *kicks* back!
* 40 Getting pissed off for dropping it in the first place, yanking it vigorously off the ground, only to have it drop to the _other_ side.
* 41 Pulling out the swing arm stand, and forgetting to put the sidestand down first.
* 42 Backing down an inclined driveway, turning to either side with a full tank of gas.
* 43 Taking the bike off the centerstand and forgetting the sidestand.
* 44 Riding on wet grass with street tires (Almost as bad as ice!!)
* 45 Riding on wet asphalt with dirt tires (Almost as bad as ice!!)
* 46 *Thinking* the kick stand was down when it wasn't.
* 47 Kick stand slowly burying itself in hot asphalt.
* 48 Kick stand slowly burying itself in soft ground.
* 49 Backing up perpendicular to a steeply sloped driveway and attempting to put your foot down on the downhill side while on a large bike with a high seat. (By the time your foot reaches the ground the bike is so far off center balance you won't be able to hold it up.)
* 50 Backing your bike down a plank, by yourself, from the bed of a pickup truck. Works great as long as you remember that once you start moving, stopping for any correction is out of the question. Get two people to stand on each side of you and the bike.
* 51 Losing your balance when coming to a stop because of fatigue from a long trip. The wind and the buzz of the bike induces an unexpected case of vertigo. Stop often and rest.
* 52 Riding beyond your limits while trying to keep up with someone who is probably riding beyond their own. Always a temptation. The best riders/racers understand and use discipline when riding.
* 53 Not paying attention. Always strive to anticipate what could possibly go wrong and be planning what you're going to do when it happens, eventually it will - and you'll be ready, instead of surprised when you're much more likely to do something stupid and reactionary.
* 54 Assuming that all wet roads are created equal. They are much more slippery when it first starts to rain - until the oil and dirt are washed away.
* 55 Assuming that the condition of a blind corner is the same as it was the last time you rode it. Instead you find sticks, road kill, oil, rain wash, stones, pot holes, garbage, etc.
* 56 Not understanding how to get set-up for a corner when pushing the limits. In most cases the bike could have made the corner but the rider decided it couldn't and while in a panic attempted to correct the situation with the brake. WRONG! MSF course will discuss this at length.
* 57 Riding without all of the protective equipment because I forgot to bring it and after all it was just this one time. Turned out to be the wrong time! I forgot my MX boots and fell on a steeply banked corner and the foot peg attempted to drill into the back of my right calf. On crutches for 3 weeks with a deep bruise.
* 58 Using a little too much power turning the first corner after you've put on new tires (with that nice slippery release compound on them).
* 59 Being too short for the bike you're riding, and coming to a stop sign.
* 60 Your rider hops on before you are ready.
* 61 Pushing your bike into the garage and letting it get leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it to the ground.
* 62 Pulling off both fork caps while the bike is on its centerstand.
* 64 Park pointing downhill, don't leave it in gear.
* 65 Park with sidestand facing up hill, sidestand is too long.
* 66 Allow friend to ride bike that has either no riding experience, or only tiny dirt bike riding experience (they will wheelie out of control, fly straight at the nearest object, or drop it attempting to stop suddenly.)
* 67 Pulling into Dairy Queen and slipping on a spilt chocolate malt.
* 68 Sitting on your bike on an inclined driveway talking to a very pretty girl, forgetting where in the hell your mind is and then noticing that it's already too close to the ground to stop.
* 69 Change rear-end oil on a shaft drive bike, spill 90w on tire, don't clean it up and then make a really sharp turn out of the driveway. *Splat*
* 70 Parking your bike so that it stands upright with the kickstand down and then having a slow leak in the rear tire which causes the kickstand to push the bike over.
* 71 Running into a bus after a 120mph+ high speed chase where there is helicopter pursuit and you are being taped by 5 local news stations.
* 72 Spending 3 hours washing and waxing your bike and then stepping back to admire it with some buddies and then watch it fall right off its side stand while it was warming up.
* 73 Pushing it over.
* 74 Covering it with a windsail (aka canvas cover) and letting the wind push it over.
* 75 Unbolting too many components from the back so that the bike falls off the jack.
* 76 Having an internally rusted CX500 center stand come apart whilst putting the bike onto it.
* 77 Discovering when you stop and try to put your foot down that the kickstart lever is up your pant leg.
* 78 Letting your wife drive the bike and having her stall it on an inclined driveway while in a 45 degree angle to the incline.
* 79 Entering a banked freeway onramp with a stoplight at the end, and realizing a little too late that the downside is just a _little_ steeper than you thought.
* 80 Whacking the throttle open on the highway when you think there's no cop around then slowing to normal speed again only to realize that a trooper has been trying to catch up with you for two miles and he's pissed so he decides to run you off the road because he thinks you were trying to run away from him, even though you explain to him that if you were trying to run that he wouldn't have caught you then getting out of any ticjet because *@!!$#, uh I mean cop, felt bad even though he never said "I'm sorry" . . . .but I'm not bitter.
* 81 While pushing your bike in an attempt to start it by compression, jumping on side-saddle with excessive vigor.
* 82 Successfully compression starting your bike while running along side, only to find out that you'd held a BIT too much throttle!
* 83 Deploying the centre-stand without noticing that the ground falls away on the other side.
* 84 Taking the wife on a ride on your brand new, first bike in 20+ years and making a slow, tight, turn on gravel.
* 85 Riding in stilettos and getting stuck on the footrest.
* 86 Swinging your legs too enthusiastically over the bike with tight trousers on and kicking it over.
* 87 Dismounting while trying not to wet yourself (cold weather..tuh!)
* 88 Riding short distances side-saddle fashion.
* 89 Pulling off with a blood alcohol level exceeding the stated limit.
* 90 Reaching down to pick up your gloves/keys/glasses.
* 91 Paying too much attention to the tiltometer on your valkarie.
* 92 Dropping your dirtbike on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus, then while getting it righted go over the down side because it's too far of an angle to get a foot down.
* 93 Trying to ride away on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus which is slipperier than sand.
* 94 Bopping down the freshly-oiled farm lane to see the neighbor kid with my brother on the back, cautiously toeing the rear brake, feeling the rear wheel slide as we headed straight for the barn, grabbing a panicky handful of front brake, doing a slow highside despite dabbing mightily, sliding right up to the barn door prone on the well-oiled bike with my brother on top of the pile, and hearing the neighbor say "Didn't that thing used to be orange?"
* 95 kill the bike while leaned over trying to make a slow, sharp turn in a parking lot.
* 96 Forgetting to remove the disc lock and taking off from the curb with haste...Tends to break the front caliper, too.
* 97 Falling asleep.
* 98 Getting help from a neighbor in pushing your 750 up a steep ramp into a moving truck. Though he might assure you that he used to ride a motorcycle, it turns out it was a 125 in Bombay. He gets 2/3 of the way up the ramp, looks panicked, and his knees buckle. Crunch.
* 99 Looking at the pretty curb to your left on a right-hand bank.
* 100 Trying to get a wasp or bee out of your jacket while sitting on the bike.
* 101 Trying to start out in a quick turn (leaning in anticipation of giving it throttle) and stalling it out because the engine hasn't warmed yet - it's a nice, slow drop...
* 102 Forgetting to put in oil after an oil change. Starting 'er up, and wondering why the low oil pressure dummy light doesn't turn off.
* 103 After a brake job, forgetting to pump the lever/pedal a few times, and taking off, wondering why there's no brakes as you're coming up on the intersection.
* 104 Having a mechanical gate close on you as you're trying to ride through.
* 105 Hitting that patch of sand which has washed across the road on a blind bend.
* 106 Absentmindedly putting the bike on the kick stand and walking away before you check to see if the driveway is level.
* 107 Applying your usual amount of throttle but with a passenger behind you ... "cool ... look at that plane".
* 108 Pushing your bike into a crowded garage, letting it get leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it into your vintage MG.
* 109 Popping a wheelie while showing off for a girl, almost looping it, slamming on the rear brake to compensate, and passing out from the bollocking several yards later.
* 110 Assuming the puddle of liquid behind the convenience store was water when it was actually used motor oil.
* 111 Starting bike while habitually squeezing clutch lever, standing to the left of the bike, remembering too late that the bike is in gear. Realize too late that the choke gives the bike enough power to drag you 30' across the parking lot in first gear.
* 112 On your third ride with your first ever bike. Stop at a red light. When the light turns green, you have to start uphill, and turn right at the same time. Somehow that overwhelmed me.
* 113 Parking on a bit of an incline (slopes down right to left), having your left foot slip a little when getting back on the bike, and slowly loosing your balance.
* 114 Let your buddy ride it. And if you are really stupid let him ride it again.
* 115 Turning onto a busy street and in the middle of the turn you suddenly remember that this street has trolley tracks.
* 116 Put armor all on your tires to make them look nice and pretty and then ride on the white safety lane line as you take a HARD right turn at 35mph.
* 117 Throw a party and get together with a random girl on your bike in the garage while extremely drunk.
* 118 Pull into parking and failed to ensure proper extension of the sidestand then with near perfect execution of the Laugh-in scene where the bike topples over onto your leg, and you're going down, pinned beneath.
* 119 Stop for gas, carefully shut off ignition and take key out (to unlock tank), carefully remove helmet and set it over mirror, carefully remove gloves and place on instruments, open jacket, step off bike ... forgetting to put sidestand down.
* 120 With bike off, try to make walking U-turn in driveway. Bike doesn't have necessary turning radius, front wheel leaves pavement and goes into soft dirt.
* 121 The setting: Bikes at inside end of driveway, on centerstands, facing away from front of driveway. Backing cage into driveway ... slowly ... at about the right point, stop ... note that cover on bike #1 is moving slightly ... notice bike #1 ever-so-slowly roll forward off its centerstand, then sideways into bike #2. Bike #2 stands there and takes it without falling ... but there's no way to get it to lift #1.
* 122 Tweaking the front brake at a light as you JUST come to a stop with the forks turned to either side at ALL on a top-heavy bike.
* 123 Jump an old dirt bike over your parents' fence (use a rramp to get enough height). Realize on the way down that you *don't* know how to land. (I believe this was caused by "Adolescent Invincibility Syndrome".)
* 124 Test-ride an Electra Glide Sport (OK, these days it would have to be a Road King) around the old, cracked pavement in Brisbane near the Cow Palace.
* 125 Have a BMW with the sidestand linked to the clutch lever, so that pulling in the clutch retracts the stand.
* 126 Put the bike back together after waiting months since the last crash for a part to arrive, and don't install fuel filters. Gas tank rust clogs carburetor float needles, overflow tubes lube rear tire, brake to avoid manhole cover in curve, the waited-for part is broken.
* 127 Park next to some %$#@ on a Triumph who leaves his disc lock on, and return to find your XV1100 with a few dents and a little note saying 'Sorry' in the brake lever. (I left my phone number too...)
* 128 While riding home the day after getting your shiny new bike turn onto a dirt road and discover that they are in the process of combing the road and your front tire is now sliding through four inches of loose wet sand (Did I mention it was raining). While picking up your bike be sure to grind plenty of sand into the tank.
An Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office
Dear Mr. Minister,
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes workin’ there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for …… sake. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another ‘ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the ….. place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (morons)
Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate f……g Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.
However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA!!
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes workin’ there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for …… sake. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another ‘ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the ….. place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (morons)
Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate f……g Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.
However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA!!
Blog | Study | Writing | Tools | Contact | About | Syndication If McCain is the “Military” Candidate, Why Did Ron Paul, Who Wants to Pull Out of Iraq
Through all this talk about whether McCain or Obama is a better candidate on foreign policy we’ve forgotten a key piece of information.
McCain thinks Bush was right about Iraq. Obama thinks he was wrong about Iraq. So who’s the tie-breaker? How about Military voters?
From the AirForceTimes:
During the reporting period, Paul — a former Air Force surgeon who broke with his party to vote against the Iraq war — received the most military contributions, with $201,271.
That’s significantly more than the presumptive Republican nominee, Sen. John McCain from Arizona, who received $132,133 from military donors, according to CRP.
Think about that. A non-interventionist, anti-war candidate received the most support in the election from the Military. Keep that in mind when evaluating Obama vs. McCain on foreign policy.:
–
Edit: A commenter noted something interesting. The candidate who got the second largest share of campaign contributions from the Military was also anti-war. It was Obama.
McCain thinks Bush was right about Iraq. Obama thinks he was wrong about Iraq. So who’s the tie-breaker? How about Military voters?
From the AirForceTimes:
During the reporting period, Paul — a former Air Force surgeon who broke with his party to vote against the Iraq war — received the most military contributions, with $201,271.
That’s significantly more than the presumptive Republican nominee, Sen. John McCain from Arizona, who received $132,133 from military donors, according to CRP.
Think about that. A non-interventionist, anti-war candidate received the most support in the election from the Military. Keep that in mind when evaluating Obama vs. McCain on foreign policy.:
–
Edit: A commenter noted something interesting. The candidate who got the second largest share of campaign contributions from the Military was also anti-war. It was Obama.
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